The Wife had her last monthly appointment, before moving to every two weeks, yesterday. She knew the ever exciting and always popular gestational diabetes test would be coming up, so she was overly joyed for that. As it turns out, she gets to start going every single week and she gets to have monthly ultrasounds from here on out. I don't know if I mentioned this on the blog before, but there is this thing called a "single umbilical artery", where the umbilical cord has one artery and one vein instead of the regular two arteries and one vein. The SUA has the potential for complications, but as long as the baby is growing, they just monitor it and make sure things are proceeding correctly. So far everything is looking perfectly normal, so the SUA just means more ultrasounds and baby pictures for us... which is awesome.
The Wife read something a few weeks ago about how, once you get to the 26th or 27th week, sometimes you can hear the baby's heartbeat by just putting your ear on the belly. I have now tried it twice, but I still haven't heard anything. I have been kicked in the head twice by the baby for my trouble though... so that's something.
We also have the 3D ultrasound coming up in the middle of May, so that's sure to be amazing. I have no idea how it works, but it does, and that's all that really matters. Pictures will be up immediately on that.
We are down to less than three weeks until the re-decorating of the nursery will take place. IT JUST WON'T GET HERE FAST ENOUGH!!!
23.4.13
Week Three
This past weekend, the kids had longer visits with each parent. It was 8am-4pm with mom on Saturday and the same with dad on Sunday. Both parents were on time for picking up and dropping off, which is an accomplishment on its own... or at least surprising to us.
After Saturday's visit with their mom, Leonard and Penny came home, but didn't have a ton to say about what they had done. They ate breakfast at their mom's house and they went to one of those places for kids with all of the trampolines and bouncy things. Then they went out to eat for lunch. Neither one of them took naps, but the important thing is that she did have them lay down for an hour or so of "rest time"... even if they couldn't sleep.
Sunday's visit with their dad was much more fun this week. There was a NASCAR race in town this weekend, so after church, they went out to the racetrack and the kids got to see a bunch of the cars up close. After they were done there, they went back to his house and watched the race on television. They were super excited to see them on tv, since they had just seen the very same cars in person. They were even tired enough to take a nap at his house.
Overall, they seemed to have a good weekend and their parents proved (at least to us) that perhaps things will be ok when they go home. Obviously, the continual outings will come to an end, because they are not in a position to keep those expenses up, but it could still be alright. It's definitely going to be a shock to the system the first time the kids are with them for an entire weekend and they can't afford to go anywhere and everywhere all weekend, but that's just part of the deal.
After Saturday's visit with their mom, Leonard and Penny came home, but didn't have a ton to say about what they had done. They ate breakfast at their mom's house and they went to one of those places for kids with all of the trampolines and bouncy things. Then they went out to eat for lunch. Neither one of them took naps, but the important thing is that she did have them lay down for an hour or so of "rest time"... even if they couldn't sleep.
Sunday's visit with their dad was much more fun this week. There was a NASCAR race in town this weekend, so after church, they went out to the racetrack and the kids got to see a bunch of the cars up close. After they were done there, they went back to his house and watched the race on television. They were super excited to see them on tv, since they had just seen the very same cars in person. They were even tired enough to take a nap at his house.
Overall, they seemed to have a good weekend and their parents proved (at least to us) that perhaps things will be ok when they go home. Obviously, the continual outings will come to an end, because they are not in a position to keep those expenses up, but it could still be alright. It's definitely going to be a shock to the system the first time the kids are with them for an entire weekend and they can't afford to go anywhere and everywhere all weekend, but that's just part of the deal.
19.4.13
And So It Begins...
It's like she knew I posted a blog about how well things went from last weekend. This morning, Penny was up crying at the crack of dawn... or over an hour before dawn... either way. I got up, got dressed, then went in and told them it was time to get up and get dressed. Almost immediately upon my entering the room, the crying subsided. She thought that she was getting the attention that she was going for... turns out, it was just time to get up. It's not the first time she has woken up crying, but the crying usually means that she woke herself up by peeing her pants, the bed and, in one instance, the floor. The last time was last Saturday morning. There is nothing better than getting up at 5am on a Saturday morning to change sheets and such. She likes to play it off by saying that her stomach hurts or her ear hurts or something. Today, she didn't even try to make an excuse. Keep in mind, the body aches really are excuses, because once it's time to get up for the day, she's fine. We've known for a long time that these two, Leonard and Penny, were master manipulators, but we haven't seen it that much in person. Generally we hear about it from daycare and just put the pieces together. Last weekend, Penny had a stomachache about ten minutes after her mom picked them up and then immediately when their dad picked them up. After they each asked us if she had been sick, to which we said "no... not at all", she made an amazing recovery and was herself the rest of the day with them. As long as they get called on their manipulations, they will both stop.
The problem will come when they are no longer with us in a few weeks and they are back with the people who taught them these behaviors.
The problem will come when they are no longer with us in a few weeks and they are back with the people who taught them these behaviors.
18.4.13
Our First Respite Call
Well... we had to say no, but hey... we still got a call.
They were looking for placement for a 5 year old girl, 7 year old boy, and 9 year old girl. Unfortunately, they needed a place from tomorrow through the 29th. Not only is that a fairly long respite placement, but they are all in a school that isn't close to us by any means. We didn't even get to the part where there aren't enough beds in our house for three kids, in addition to Leonard and Penny and The Kid (for the weekend). They were willing to split the kids up, but we just couldn't make it work.
The lady at the agency said that she would keep us on the top of her list for any other respite that may come up.
They were looking for placement for a 5 year old girl, 7 year old boy, and 9 year old girl. Unfortunately, they needed a place from tomorrow through the 29th. Not only is that a fairly long respite placement, but they are all in a school that isn't close to us by any means. We didn't even get to the part where there aren't enough beds in our house for three kids, in addition to Leonard and Penny and The Kid (for the weekend). They were willing to split the kids up, but we just couldn't make it work.
The lady at the agency said that she would keep us on the top of her list for any other respite that may come up.
17.4.13
Observations
As I sat there watching Dora with the kids last night, I had a few thoughts:
1. Maybe Dora and Boots should fail from time to time... sure, it's better to try and fail than to never try at all... and all of that... but seriously... a six year old and a monkey could never have the success rate that they seem to have.
2. A "we tried real hard" song is just as good as a "we did it" song.
3. Why doesn't Swiper get away with anything? He should probably look for another line of work.
4. Since he always gets caught, why doesn't Swiper get in more trouble? The Mexican authorities are nothing to mess with... plus he can't even sell the stuff he steals for money for bail... see #3.
5. The map should get a vacation every now and then. Maybe he doesn't want to always know the way to go.
6. Can backpack not produce a GPS to give the map a break? They can pull an inflatable raft out of there, but a GPS is too much to ask?
7. They're in Mexico... how has Dora not been mugged? I know she's a kid, but she has some stuff to take. Plus she has the previously mentioned backpack that can carry all kinds of things.
1. Maybe Dora and Boots should fail from time to time... sure, it's better to try and fail than to never try at all... and all of that... but seriously... a six year old and a monkey could never have the success rate that they seem to have.
2. A "we tried real hard" song is just as good as a "we did it" song.
3. Why doesn't Swiper get away with anything? He should probably look for another line of work.
4. Since he always gets caught, why doesn't Swiper get in more trouble? The Mexican authorities are nothing to mess with... plus he can't even sell the stuff he steals for money for bail... see #3.
5. The map should get a vacation every now and then. Maybe he doesn't want to always know the way to go.
6. Can backpack not produce a GPS to give the map a break? They can pull an inflatable raft out of there, but a GPS is too much to ask?
7. They're in Mexico... how has Dora not been mugged? I know she's a kid, but she has some stuff to take. Plus she has the previously mentioned backpack that can carry all kinds of things.
16.4.13
Hmm... Really?
I spoke with Gloria yesterday, just to give her the run-down on how visits went on Sunday. Of course, I also wanted to check and see how many emails and phone calls she got about the day. There was not a single email or voicemail waiting for her when she got to work. We are all in complete shock. How is that even possible?
The kids even seem completely regulated. We fully expected some sort of fallout from the whole day of being away, but it never happened. At this point, we assume that the difference will be when the overnight visits start and that next weekend will be fine like this past weekend. I'm sure we will be proved wrong in a few days, but for now, we'll just expect the worst and hope for the best.
The kids even seem completely regulated. We fully expected some sort of fallout from the whole day of being away, but it never happened. At this point, we assume that the difference will be when the overnight visits start and that next weekend will be fine like this past weekend. I'm sure we will be proved wrong in a few days, but for now, we'll just expect the worst and hope for the best.
15.4.13
Skepticism
The kids had their first extended visits with their parents yesterday.
We met their mom at 8am and off they went. After we got them back around 1pm, we learned that they went to her house, had some breakfast, dressed up for church, went to church, then, at some point, came back to McDonald's (where we met earlier) and had lunch. All in all, it seemed like a fairly decent visit and they were not over-indulged in their eating.
Their dad met us a little before 1:30pm and the kids left with him. We had brought their pjs and bath stuff with us to send, in case he had time to give them baths. We also thought that it would be a nice thing for him to be able to do to take up some time. In related news, we didn't have to give the kids baths last night, which was awesome. I met up with them at 6:30pm to bring them back home. They both ate very well, Leonard especially, and were well-behaved as far as I learned... not that their dad would tell me any differently.
The skepticism comes in where, after both parents' visits, there were no complaints at all. So I am fully expecting to talk to Gloria today and find out what was said in each and every email that he undoubtedly sent last night. I seriously doubt that their mom had anything bad to say, since her family is the one that sent us a thank you card with a nice note inside, just to say thanks for taking care of the kids. We have the card... somewhere. I should really take a picture and post it on the blog. Their dad, on the other hand, lives to complain it seems. About us, about the agency, about court - it doesn't matter.
We got a lot done while they were away for the day. It was very strange having time to get things done and not having to help two kids in and out of the car at every stop. It was also very relaxing, even though we were cleaning and working all day. Next weekend will be eight hours of visits each day and The Kid will be with us. We're hoping for another couple of days of preparing for the baby and getting things done that have been put off, in some cases, for far too long.
We met their mom at 8am and off they went. After we got them back around 1pm, we learned that they went to her house, had some breakfast, dressed up for church, went to church, then, at some point, came back to McDonald's (where we met earlier) and had lunch. All in all, it seemed like a fairly decent visit and they were not over-indulged in their eating.
Their dad met us a little before 1:30pm and the kids left with him. We had brought their pjs and bath stuff with us to send, in case he had time to give them baths. We also thought that it would be a nice thing for him to be able to do to take up some time. In related news, we didn't have to give the kids baths last night, which was awesome. I met up with them at 6:30pm to bring them back home. They both ate very well, Leonard especially, and were well-behaved as far as I learned... not that their dad would tell me any differently.
The skepticism comes in where, after both parents' visits, there were no complaints at all. So I am fully expecting to talk to Gloria today and find out what was said in each and every email that he undoubtedly sent last night. I seriously doubt that their mom had anything bad to say, since her family is the one that sent us a thank you card with a nice note inside, just to say thanks for taking care of the kids. We have the card... somewhere. I should really take a picture and post it on the blog. Their dad, on the other hand, lives to complain it seems. About us, about the agency, about court - it doesn't matter.
We got a lot done while they were away for the day. It was very strange having time to get things done and not having to help two kids in and out of the car at every stop. It was also very relaxing, even though we were cleaning and working all day. Next weekend will be eight hours of visits each day and The Kid will be with us. We're hoping for another couple of days of preparing for the baby and getting things done that have been put off, in some cases, for far too long.
11.4.13
A Necessary Break
After some (not a lot) discussion, we have determined that we are going to take a break for a while from the fostercare scene. After Leonard and Penny leave for good, mid-May, we are going to possibly take respite calls until the beginning of July... if there are any to be taken. After the first of July, we'll be taking an extended break until the beginning of October or so. We fully intend on keeping up our license/training and taking a school age placement in the fall.
For now, we have way too much to do to get ready for the little one in July and we are going to take a couple of months (minus any random respite time) to just enjoy getting ready and things of that nature. My guess is that, at least for a little while, this blog will take more of a turn towards all things baby and will steer away from the foster talk. We have a lot to do and a little time, all things considered, but we're super excited to get working on it.
For now, we have way too much to do to get ready for the little one in July and we are going to take a couple of months (minus any random respite time) to just enjoy getting ready and things of that nature. My guess is that, at least for a little while, this blog will take more of a turn towards all things baby and will steer away from the foster talk. We have a lot to do and a little time, all things considered, but we're super excited to get working on it.
10.4.13
BEHOLD THE GLORY
Here are the handy calendars that The Wife made for the kids to follow where they'll be on each day of the week. We know the next few weeks may seem a bit hectic and as I've written about a few times before... they love a schedule. We tried to keep it simple... yellow is with us, pink is with their mom, blue is with their dad. This way, we have something for them to look at when we talk about the next day's plan.
The Birthday
Leonard's birthday, as I mentioned in a previous post, was last Friday. He's 3 now. In foster care terms, that means we got to take the baby gates down... which is awesome.
About a month ago, he told us that he wanted to go to the farmstead for his birthday. He wasn't interested in a party or anything, so that's what we did. We went for about an hour and a half and the kids were ready to go home. It wasn't super warm out and it was very windy, so it wasn't the best day to be there, but they had fun nonetheless.
That evening, The Wife's parents came over for a little celebratory dinner and gifts. It was a nice change of pace from having a bunch of kids (and adults) over for Penny's birthday back in October. Had Leonard wanted it, we could have had a bigger party for him, but it's just not his style.
About a month ago, he told us that he wanted to go to the farmstead for his birthday. He wasn't interested in a party or anything, so that's what we did. We went for about an hour and a half and the kids were ready to go home. It wasn't super warm out and it was very windy, so it wasn't the best day to be there, but they had fun nonetheless.
That evening, The Wife's parents came over for a little celebratory dinner and gifts. It was a nice change of pace from having a bunch of kids (and adults) over for Penny's birthday back in October. Had Leonard wanted it, we could have had a bigger party for him, but it's just not his style.
9.4.13
The Dentist
Leonard had his first (and probably last, sadly) dentist appointment today.
Well... I take that back. He gets to go back in two weeks to get his five cavities taken care of. Yes.... five. The Wife took him and he was all smiles and happiness until things started. Then he freaked out. He got over it fairly quickly and was back to happy. He did really well for the most part, considering this was his first ever personal experience with something that can potentially be very scary. They recommended brushing his teeth three times a day, but short of daycare suddenly implementing a new part to the day where everyone brushes their teeth, there's really no way that can happen. At least we'll be able to get the current cavities taken care of and he will be sent back to his parents with a healthy set of teeth.
Upside is that I guessed that he'd have six... so... that's something...
Well... I take that back. He gets to go back in two weeks to get his five cavities taken care of. Yes.... five. The Wife took him and he was all smiles and happiness until things started. Then he freaked out. He got over it fairly quickly and was back to happy. He did really well for the most part, considering this was his first ever personal experience with something that can potentially be very scary. They recommended brushing his teeth three times a day, but short of daycare suddenly implementing a new part to the day where everyone brushes their teeth, there's really no way that can happen. At least we'll be able to get the current cavities taken care of and he will be sent back to his parents with a healthy set of teeth.
Upside is that I guessed that he'd have six... so... that's something...
 |
| Examining his new stuff |
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| Just hanging out... waiting.... |
Schedules
Penny is obsessed with them. She wants to know every step of every day. For us, that's great. We have a schedule that we lay out and stick to. It's not super rigorous or anything... just a schedule. We learned early on that if you deviate from the schedule... bad things happen. Meltdowns, crying in the night... all sorts of fun results ensue. Side note... as with most things, Leonard is indifferent to knowing what is going on, but is still affected by any changes. Here is the email that I wrote to the kids' caseworker yesterday:
--------------------------------------------------------
Thanks
--------------------------------------------------------
Gloria,
Here are the kids’ schedules
that we keep them on. They love their schedules and we find that any
variance tends to have undesirable effects.
-------------------------------------------------
We estimate this schedule will be completely dismantled over the course of the next few weeks and then the following months, once they have left our home to go back with their parents. But who are we kidding really? The schedule will be gone within three days of leaving our house, if not less. It won't be our problem obviously, but that doesn't change the fact that it will really affect their behavior and well-being. We just hope that one or both parents realize that... before it's too late to go back to it.
Here are the schedules... like I said... nothing rigorous.
5.4.13
One Down... So Many to Go
The first extended visit with Leonard and Penny's mom was yesterday. She picked them up from daycare and then dropped them off at the end of the visit.
I asked them what they did with her and they said that they went to a restaurant and ate and then they went to the park. That's all fine and well... except I'm reasonably certain that it was fast food and the kids just don't know the difference. There's no way it was a real sit-down restaurant. And, of course, there's the fact that they eat lunch at daycare at 11:30am or so... then lay down for naps/rest time at about noon... and then she picked them up at 2:30pm for the visit. So... yeah... they had two full-blown meals in a span of three hours.
As I write this, they are with their dad for his visit and I'm sure they're about 90 minutes into a massive junk food feast. Just think of all the blueberries, chocolate milk, fish, pretzels, bananas, random vegetables smothered in ranch, pudding, and other crap he can stuff into them with three hours instead of only one or two. I know that sounds like good food... but it's really not when they won't stop eating it for the entire visit. It generally ends with Leonard throwing up when he gets back to daycare or when he goes to bed.
Leonard is 3 today. We have a small celebration planned tomorrow. He told us a while back that he would like to go to the farmstead that we visited last fall. Tomorrow just happens to be opening day there, so we will be going to celebrate his birthday and what is supposed to be a beautiful day of mid-70 degree weather.
I asked them what they did with her and they said that they went to a restaurant and ate and then they went to the park. That's all fine and well... except I'm reasonably certain that it was fast food and the kids just don't know the difference. There's no way it was a real sit-down restaurant. And, of course, there's the fact that they eat lunch at daycare at 11:30am or so... then lay down for naps/rest time at about noon... and then she picked them up at 2:30pm for the visit. So... yeah... they had two full-blown meals in a span of three hours.
As I write this, they are with their dad for his visit and I'm sure they're about 90 minutes into a massive junk food feast. Just think of all the blueberries, chocolate milk, fish, pretzels, bananas, random vegetables smothered in ranch, pudding, and other crap he can stuff into them with three hours instead of only one or two. I know that sounds like good food... but it's really not when they won't stop eating it for the entire visit. It generally ends with Leonard throwing up when he gets back to daycare or when he goes to bed.
Leonard is 3 today. We have a small celebration planned tomorrow. He told us a while back that he would like to go to the farmstead that we visited last fall. Tomorrow just happens to be opening day there, so we will be going to celebrate his birthday and what is supposed to be a beautiful day of mid-70 degree weather.
3.4.13
Fifteen
What is.... the number of hours it took before the news of things changing had an effect on Penny?
Correct.
The only information she had was that they would be picked up at daycare by their parents this week and visits would be a little bit longer. We decided the best thing to do would be to take it on a week by week basis, so we don't overload her and give her a ton of stuff to process all at once. Penny loves having a schedule and knowing it. She always wants to know what we're doing next or how things are gonna go for the evening or day or whenever. Even though everything is the same for this week, until Thursday and Friday, just the knowledge that things will be different affected her. She had a little bed wetting incident last night. It was no big deal and we knew it was coming... we just expected it after things actually changed.
Meanwhile, Leonard has no idea what's going on. Nor does he care to know.
Can't wait to see what the next five to seven weeks have in store for us.
Correct.
The only information she had was that they would be picked up at daycare by their parents this week and visits would be a little bit longer. We decided the best thing to do would be to take it on a week by week basis, so we don't overload her and give her a ton of stuff to process all at once. Penny loves having a schedule and knowing it. She always wants to know what we're doing next or how things are gonna go for the evening or day or whenever. Even though everything is the same for this week, until Thursday and Friday, just the knowledge that things will be different affected her. She had a little bed wetting incident last night. It was no big deal and we knew it was coming... we just expected it after things actually changed.
Meanwhile, Leonard has no idea what's going on. Nor does he care to know.
Can't wait to see what the next five to seven weeks have in store for us.
2.4.13
A Sudden Turn of Events
So... on the 21st, we were told that the judge in the case had said that he would like to see the kids go home by the fourth of July. In September, he said by Christmas... but whatever. We had our monthly meeting last night with Gloria and we also got to meet Annie, our third FSC in eight and a half months. Gloria filled us in on the new plan, which is essentially a seven week reintegration plan with both parents. The plan is as follows:
Week 1 - Visits are unsupervised and bumped up to three hours per parent
Week 2 - Visits are five hours and take place at each parent's home
Week 3 - Visits are eight hours per parent
Week 4 - One overnight visit per parent
Week 5 - Two overnight visits per parent
Week 6 - Stay the week with one parent
Week 7 - Stay the week with the other parent
The plan starts now. As it is currently laid out, Leonard and Penny will be leaving us on or around May 3rd, as the last two weeks do not involve us at all. We are hoping that the longer visit days (the five and eight hours) can take place on the weekends, so as to avoid meltdowns at daycare and such. We are reasonably certain that the fairly strict schedule we have been instilling in them for the last eight months will be shot all to hell in a matter of days. At this point, we just hope they can hold it together long enough to make it to the actual transition. For two kids, who not only enjoy their sleep, but do it so well, going from getting twelve hours at night with a resting/napping period during the day, back to what we've been led to believe was no bedtime and no naps as a general rule, is going to be a huge mess and fairly nightmarish. We are going to provide a schedule that they kids have followed since coming to our house. There is a 95% chance that their mom follows it down to every detail. There is a 3% chance that their dad does the same... and that number may be generous.
Tonight, we begin the packing of the things. Hopefully Penny will be able to tell us which house some stuff came from, since both parents have sent a ton of toys and things.
Week 1 - Visits are unsupervised and bumped up to three hours per parent
Week 2 - Visits are five hours and take place at each parent's home
Week 3 - Visits are eight hours per parent
Week 4 - One overnight visit per parent
Week 5 - Two overnight visits per parent
Week 6 - Stay the week with one parent
Week 7 - Stay the week with the other parent
The plan starts now. As it is currently laid out, Leonard and Penny will be leaving us on or around May 3rd, as the last two weeks do not involve us at all. We are hoping that the longer visit days (the five and eight hours) can take place on the weekends, so as to avoid meltdowns at daycare and such. We are reasonably certain that the fairly strict schedule we have been instilling in them for the last eight months will be shot all to hell in a matter of days. At this point, we just hope they can hold it together long enough to make it to the actual transition. For two kids, who not only enjoy their sleep, but do it so well, going from getting twelve hours at night with a resting/napping period during the day, back to what we've been led to believe was no bedtime and no naps as a general rule, is going to be a huge mess and fairly nightmarish. We are going to provide a schedule that they kids have followed since coming to our house. There is a 95% chance that their mom follows it down to every detail. There is a 3% chance that their dad does the same... and that number may be generous.
Tonight, we begin the packing of the things. Hopefully Penny will be able to tell us which house some stuff came from, since both parents have sent a ton of toys and things.
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