16.11.12

The Results Are In

And it looks like Oscar may be hanging around until March or so.  I talked to his grandma for a while last night and she filled me in on the stuff they covered at court.  The judge pointed out that his goal is to reunify Oscar with either his mom or dad (obviously), but that the grandparents would be the next option.  The next court date was set for December 27th, so maybe we'll be surprised by a late Christmas gift for everyone in the form of Oscar getting to go be with his family forever.

In related news, we have already discussed that Oscar will spend from noon on Saturday until sometime Sunday with his family.  And then next week, for Thanksgiving, he will be over there from Wednesday evening through Sunday afternoon/evening.  Ultimately, Oscar is going to end up with that side of the family, which is something we are at least 99.9% sure of, so the relationship we have built with the family is ideal.  He gets a chance to be around his grandparents, as well as his dad and aunt and other little kids.  Things can always change, but we're definitely heading in the right direction for a positive outcome in his life.

15.11.12

Their Day in Court

Court for Oscar is less than two hours from now.  The Wife and I are unable to attend... due to this whole "work" thing getting in the way.  Oscar's grandma said that she would let me know what all happens at court once they are out.  We're really hoping that he gets to go there sooner rather than later, but who knows.  I seriously doubt that his mom will both show up and care what happens to him (as long as he's taken care of).  She has made it to two out of three visits since he came to us, but that's apparently way above her average, according to Elaine.  Last week, in separate instances, she referred to me as "dad" and to The Wife as "mom" to Oscar.  Sure, he's not quite eight months old, so he doesn't understand, but still... who would refer to other people as "mom" and "dad" to their own child?  She's super nice, but she's a little off.  We should know in a few hours what is going to be asked of his grandparents (and dad) to get him to their house, so here's to hoping for the best.

13.11.12

Things... and Other Things

Oscar ended up staying at his grandparents' house through Sunday night and his grandpa even dropped him off at daycare for us.  When The Wife picked him up after work yesterday, he was all smiles.  He was even super happy once he got home.  Of course, he didn't want to be put down... but he was smiling and laughing all evening.  Bedtime wasn't as rough as we had thought it would be, but he did wake up about thirty minutes later, only to fall back asleep pretty much instantly once I picked him up and he let out a burp.  The middle of the night was a completely different story.  When Oscar woke up for his 2am bottle, it went very smoothly... and he was back asleep in about twenty minutes.  Unfortunately, a little before 4am, he was up again because his butt had exploded into his diaper.  There's no other way to say it.  It was really bad.  After a new diaper and new pajamas and about an hour of rocking and holding him (which must be why they say nothing good happens after 2am), he fell back asleep for the last couple of hours of the morning.

Court for Oscar is on Thursday.  We are relatively certain that the judge will begin the arrangements for him to be moved to his grandparents' house full-time.  They already have everything done, as they were a kinship placement previously, so, in theory, that should mean that all we need to get done is some paperwork for Oscar to make the move.  We will know more on Thursday, but we would really like to see him make the transition to be with them full-time for the holidays, so he isn't being carted around town between different houses.

Potty training for Leonard is still going strong.  He's really good about his number ones... but the twosies get him almost every time.  Sunday went the same as Saturday, with a completely successful day.  Yesterday at daycare, he had one accident, which is several less than any day last week.  We are tentatively calling it a success for now.

10.11.12

Potty Training is a Go

We decided that Leonard was ready for the real potty training and that we were ready to go to underwear and not look back.  He had told us a few times in the week leading up to our decision that he had to go potty... one way or another.  Daycare has told us on multiple occasions that they would be willing to help and do whatever we needed to get him out of diapers.  Apparently, that means sending him to the bathroom every fifteen minutes... which isn't really potty training at all.  He has had a few accidents at daycare, but those are somewhat understandable in the beginning of this process.   You may notice on the sheets below that he was sent to the bathroom 13 times... and that was with leaving over an hour early.  Today, he went three times.  On his own.  He even took a nap for over two hours and woke up dry.  Pretty sure daycare may be a little trigger happy on sending him to go to the bathroom.


Side Note:  They wrote that he "had a very good day".  How could he have possibly had a very good day when he obviously spent the majority of it walking to and from the bathroom?

Baby Free... It's the Way to Be

Oscar has been with his dad and grandparents since about 5:45pm yesterday.  And our house has been mostly silent for that time.  There was no crying last night... there was no bottle to be had at 2am... and most importantly, no one was up and ready to start the day at 7am.  Well... technically Leonard and Penny were awake, but I went in and told them to be quiet and they listened.  I suppose that's one of the big difference between babies and little kids... the ability to follow directions.

Leonard and Penny came home from daycare yesterday, ate some dinner, and then played outside for about two hours.  Penny even made friends with the little girl that lives two doors down.  Once again, today is unseasonably warm outside, so the kids played out there for a good majority of the morning.  We fully intend on having them spend the evening out there as well.  Our ultimate goal is a couple of very tired children, that will insure some sleeping in for tomorrow morning.

7.11.12

Monthly Meeting #4

We had our meeting on Monday evening.  Kate's last day at the agency was last Friday, so her replacement, Lisa, came to the house.  Marty came too, obviously.  His last day will be this Friday, but his replacement (whom we met last week at visits), Gloria, was absent from the meeting.  He did assure us that she would be available if we needed anything after he has left.  Elaine was unable to make the meeting... big shocker there.

We didn't discuss Oscar so much, just because Elaine wasn't there and we were mostly covering things with Leonard and Penny.  There is a slight chance that they could be leaving us in December, but it's still hard to say at this point.  Their parents still aren't working their caseplans and Marty was asked by the court to make a recommendation.  He told us that his recommendation was that he "can't make a recommendation at this time".  From what we know about the case, there has been little progress by either of the parents to get the kids back.  We are both surprised and completely un-surprised by that.  Neither The Wife or myself could imagine not doing everything that was asked to get our kids back, yet these people who have two kids that they seemingly adore at visits, can't get their act together enough to not have them in fostercare anymore.  Court is set for December 11th, so we have at least another month with the kids... after that, your guess is as good as mine.

5.11.12

Overnight

I talked to Elaine... finally.  She said that it was pretty much up to our discretion on how much Oscar's paternal grandparents get to see him.  He was already supposed to go there from daycare on Friday for dinner... but now he gets to have a sleepover!!  I called his grandparents to tell them and they're super excited.  I told them that The Wife and I had already discussed it and we wanted him to be able to stay there the night before Thanksgiving as well, then it will be easier to have him for the holiday.  We're beyond excited for him and them.  Hopefully they'll have him full-time shortly after Thanksgiving, since they have already cleared the background checks for both our state and the state that they live in.  Either way, it's going to be a great holiday season for Oscar and his family.

4.11.12

An Unexpected Turn

Pictures went really well yesterday.  Oscar's dad, grandma, grandpa and aunt were there.  They also brought along his grandma and grandpa's adopted twins, who are about to turn four years old... meaning Oscar has an aunt and uncle that are a little over three years older than him.  From the beginning, when we got the original call to take Oscar in July (sadly, we had to say no at the time), we were told that he was a mixed race baby... the races being caucasian and latino.  So when I got there yesterday, I was fully expecting a latino family to get out of the car.  Like... to the extent that I will randomly say things to Oscar in Spanish, just because we knew that someone in his family spoke the language.  As of yesterday, we now know that no one speaks Spanish as a first language... because they are not latino at all... they're black.  Everyone was super sweet and wanted to take their turn to hold him, even one of the twins.  His grandparents bought him some new teething chew things and a new outfit for the pictures.  They took a few pictures of everyone, some of just the kids, some of just the little kids, and then they did some all girls and all boys pictures.

Leonard and Penny were taking a nap when I left, so The Wife stayed home with them.  As Oscar and I were leaving to come back home from the pictures, I asked his grandma if she'd take a picture of Oscar and his dad, so I could show the kids and The Wife.  She took it and then sent it to me in a text message.  When I got home, I showed The Wife the picture and she thinks that Oscar looks like his dad... I don't really see it.  Then again, I'm really bad at seeing resemblances like that.  I showed the picture to the kids also and they didn't really comment other than a slight "aw" from Penny.  A few hours later, as I was getting Oscar ready for bed, Penny sat down next to me on the floor and was looking at him.  She turned to me and said, "So he's black?"... I guess it just took her that long to put it together with the picture she had seen.  Then she just said, "That's just how God made him"... oh the sweet innocence and reasoning of a four year old.

3.11.12

He's Not a Dog

Those are actual words that I just had to say to Leonard as he threw Oscar's toy toward him and said "fetch".  Clearly this is a child with little to no experience with babies... but perhaps some with puppies.  Oscar has been laying on the floor being entertained by Leonard for about 45 minutes.  The fetching incident was just a brief lapse in judgement by a two year old.


Insensitive

We have come to the conclusion, over the last three and a half months, that Leonard feels no pain.  He is constantly falling down and causing bodily harm to himself.  Occasionally, he'll even run full speed into a wall... just because he doesn't stop.  He ran past me a few minutes ago, caught his leg on the ottoman, and went flying through the air in sort of a flip.  After he hit the ground with a thud, he looked up at me and laughed.  I think there have been maybe three times that he has cried due to an injury, but at this point, I am willing to attribute that to being scared more than hurt.  Maybe he just has a higher threshold for pain than anyone... ever?  Who knows really.  We're going to go to the park today or tomorrow... he'll probably fall off the top of a slide and then get up and run back up it to go again.

Not Our Family. Just A Family.

Ok... his family... but it's funnier to say "a family".  Oscar is going to get a family portrait taken today with his dad's family.  They didn't even know that he existed until a couple of days after he came to us, which was about three and a half months after he came into care and almost seven months after he was born.  I called Oscar's grandma back last night and let her know that I never heard from Elaine on whether or not it was ok for them to take him, so I would just come meet them for the picture.  We didn't have anything planned for our day anyway, so no big deal.  Grandma even bought him a new outfit for the picture.  They have gone from not knowing about Oscar at all to wanting him to come live with them and see him all of the time in a matter of about two weeks.  We think things are looking pretty good for his future with them.

2.11.12

Visits and a Call

All of the kids had visits today.  And everyone even showed up this week.

No real news from the visits that I know of at this point.  I did learn that Leonard and Penny had ravioli and sandwiches for lunch.  Both from their mom.  I feel as though one of those two things is inaccurate to some extent.  The only mention of food that came from their dad was some milk... which we all know cannot possibly be true.  You can't go from $40-50 of terrible food to just milk.  I really don't think he has it in him.

Oscar's great grandma and mom came to the visit today.  Mom was something.  She sure seemed to know a lot about Oscar, even though he has been in care longer than he was out of it.  She referred to the way he is, in reference to eating, sleeping, etc., and all I could think was "how could you possibly know that?".  I can assure everyone that this baby is not anywhere near the same baby that he was even two weeks ago, let alone seven months ago.

Elaine is leaving in two weeks for her maternity leave.  We're skeptical as to if she will ever return.  Of course, if she does come back, there's a chance we would never know, because she doesn't do the whole "updating us on anything ever" thing.

Oscar's paternal grandparents called me today to ask if he could come with them for a family portrait tomorrow afternoon.  I'm in the process of checking on this with Elaine, but obviously she is nowhere to be found... going on three hours now.  She was ok with him going with them next week for a family dinner, so it will probably be fine for tomorrow also, but we don't want to risk it without permission.  It's hard to say how involved his dad is or is going to be, but his grandparents seem willing and able to take care of him, whenever they can get things sorted out between the agency and the state.  It's nice to have someone connected to one of our placements that can (and seemingly will) do something about making a better place for their child or, in this case, grandchild.

1.11.12

An Email

I got an email from Oscar's grandma today.  They are having a family dinner next Friday night so the entire family can meet him.  She seemed super nice and said that they were very excited to have their first grandchild.  Through her email address, we can tell that she works at a local hospital, so that at least gives us hope that Oscar will have a well-established, loving, responsible family to go back to when is time with us is over.  Yes, I know working at a hospital doesn't necessarily mean those things, but since she at least has a job, I'm hopeful... that's more effort than his mom has made since he came into care almost four months ago.  I gave her my phone number so she could call and set up a time and make the arrangements for next week, so hopefully she'll call soon.

Halloween

The kids had a good time trick or treating.  Penny told me that they hadn't ever done that before, but that she really liked it.  Leonard would be too young to remember even if they had done it.  We walked up the street a little ways, with Oscar watching everything from his stroller, and stopped at the houses on the way back toward home.  The Wife texted and told me to drop Oscar by and she would feed him and put him to bed.  We stopped by the house, dropped the baby off, and went back on our way so Leonard and Penny could stop at some more houses.  All in all, I think we were out for about 45 minutes, but the kids took in quite a haul for that amount of time.  Everyone thought that they were very cute in their costumes and Leonard only tripped over his cape four or five times.