To My Wife

I don't feel as though you get enough mention on this blog.  

Obviously, you are a huge part of everything in my life and I would do anything for you.

We're having a baby in a few months.  "We're" not pregnant... but "we're" having a baby.  And I can't wait.  From not being able to settle on a name (or eight) to looking through every possible article of clothing and bedding and decor... it's all so surreal after the last few years.

This baby has been a long time coming and I am so glad that we stuck with it.  After the first three failed instances, I know you were down.  Anyone would be.  Everyone always says "when you quit trying, it'll happen".  I guess they're right.  The week between when it would have happened and when we saw the positive test, we were in the mindset of having had bad timing and trying again the next month.  Then, out of nowhere... there was that second line.  And another second line.  And another second line.  And then the word "pregnant".  And then I think another second line.  There were definitely plenty of tests to prove that it was true.  But hey... no one can blame us for being overly cautious.

Even after seeing the lines, given our previous experiences, we had to be skeptical that it would stick.  You were, perhaps, a bit more skeptical than I was, but that's just our dynamic... it's how we work.  I would have never told you before it, but going into that first sonogram to see the little flashing speck scared the crap out of me.  What if there was nothing there?  What if it was over before it really started?  How would we deal with it again?  Luckily, we didn't have to.  There it was... a little flashing speck of a baby... or as much of a baby as there would be that early.  After that, tensions did seem to ease up a little.  We had to wait another FOUR WEEKS to see how things were going with another sonogram.  The nerves were a little less on that one, but we were still in the cautiously optimistic stage of things.  What if something had gone wrong suddenly?  After seeing the first flashes of what would become our baby, what would we do if something had taken a turn for the worse?  Again... we didn't have to worry about that.  We even got some pictures of something that looked like a baby.  It was amazing and such a relief.

Well, here we are... sixteen weeks down, twenty four to go.  The anticipation of February 25th is killing me... and you, I know.  I don't know how we're going to manage to hold it together for another five months after that.  But one thing I do know, is that there's no one I'd rather hold it together with than you.  You're the reason I don't want to leave in the mornings and the reason I don't want to stay away one minute more than absolutely necessary.  We're going to have our own little family soon and it's going to be everything that we want it to be.  Me, you and baby (either Her Royal Highness Dutchess Von Bébé or El Capitán Niño de Joco).  I love you Sara.

Love,

Steven